Red Light District Visit

I do this thing sometimes, where I “Freaky Friday” myself into someone else’s body and try to imagine what it’s like to see everything through their eyes. When I’m on a crowded train, busy street or even sitting at a cafe, I picture where they must be heading…picking up their kids or their dry-cleaning…imagining what I look like through their eyes and how everything must look so different even from where they’re sitting, 2 feet away. We all walk around as if we’re the center of the universe, so I like to imagine I’m someone else to see what it would be like if I wasn’t at the center. It’s a fun little game I play back home because I love watching people; amusing myself that I was the beautiful woman with long legs walking by that I wish I resembled or imagining what it’s like to be a man. I’m a curious person, and it helps me understand the world around me. But in India this exercise is not quite the same light-hearted pursuit.

The other day we visited community members from the Khidirpur red light district in Kolkata. And I found myself doing the same thing. Watching the 30-40 year-old women I’d met that were trafficked and forced into prostitution but never fortunate enough to be rescued. I imagined myself in their bodies, as them. Replaying the movie of their lives in my head. Trying to fathom what it’s like to be in their shoes and relive their memories; seeing the the things that they’ve seen.

But the things they’ve seen are just that, a movie to me. Unimaginable as more than a nightmare or sad film. They’ve lived through my biggest fears and survived. Their strength is something I can’t seem to process. It seems unreal, even when they’re sitting right in front of me. I feel like I’m on another planet or in an alternate reality. Because how could the same reality have been so cruel to them and so kind to me?

Katie and I both felt this odd, confused state of being. I suppose we’re still in shock. Or maybe some form of denial? It’s a difficult sadness to accept. And a reminder that life really isn’t fair.