White Girl in India

WHITE GIRL IN INDIA

*Note: This post has been in progress since December. It has been challenging to communicate all the thoughts, interactions, conversations, and reflections that I’ve had about skin colour and privilege while living in India. I think that it’s a very important topic to address though and I would feel that this blog is incomplete without giving it a proper post.  

Zahra and I have fallen into this funny of habit of pointing out every time we see other foreigners in Kolkata, “Oh hey! A white person!” There are not many other white people in our neighborhood and after settling into our lives here, we sometimes like to forget we are foreigners – even though we clearly are. I definitely stick out in Kolkata, but being with Zahra (who is Indian) helps me to blend in. Having said that, before coming to India, I knew that my white skin would make me stand out but I didn’t realize the special treatment and acknowledgement I would get because of it.

There have been a number of things that have made me feel awkward. One is when we go to restaurants and a host will lead us to the table and pull out a chair for me and tuck me as I sit down. At first, I thought we were just at a fancy restaurant or the servers had different training compared to what I’m used to. Over time, I noticed that a chair got pulled out for me significantly more often than it got pulled out for Zahra.

One day I was ordering food for us and the server shook his head after I served an item saying “Spicy!” I bobbed my head in agreement and replied “A little spicy is good. A lot spicy is not good.” The server considered me for a moment, looked at Zahra, looked back at me and made his final recommendation: “One spicy, one not spicy.” I agreed.

In the early weeks, I was extremely self-conscious while eating with my hands during a large group meal. I like eating with my hands, it feels very natural and really isn’t an issue. Still, when sitting in a room full of Indian people who have always eaten with their hands, I am rather aware that they are watching me to see how I cope without my usual eating utensils. I am determined (though messy) and will definitely miss eating curry and rice with my hands at home.

Other moments of amusement/awkwardness/interest would include when we are getting a taxi. If I walk up to the window and tell the driver our destination, they will often look past me at Zahra and start speaking in Bengali or Hindi. This doesn’t help them very much as Zahra repeats the exact same English words that I said and then they bob their head in agreement.

When visiting the government shelter home for the first time, I was surrounded by the girls who were curious about me and why I was there to visit. Language was a barrier that day but using gestures and the occasional English word that they knew, we managed. One small girl, age 8 or 9, came up to me and took my arm. In broken English, she explained that my colour of skin was her favourite. She gestured to express how much she disliked her dark skin and told me I was beautiful. She just shook her head when I eagerly returned the compliment.

Many advertisements in this city feature very pale Indian models. Convenience stores stack "whitening lotions" among the soap and shampoo products. At the spa there is a variety of "whitening treatments" available in addition to the usual haircut, pedicures, etc. The fascination with lighter skin is still very prominent.

The most surprising type of encounter I've had is definitely when I'm asked to have my picture taken. The first time this happened was while visiting a temple in Kolkata and I was included in a family picture. A small line-up started as local and visiting Indian families put their arms around me and happily posed. Everywhere I've traveled in India, I get requests to be included in the pictures, however, I no longer say yes. The whole situation makes me uncomfortable. I know that I can make a small child's day by agreeing to a photo, but it is also a nuisance to be constantly stopped. And though I sometimes feel guilty for saying no, I also wish for people to be more used to seeing diversity and realize it's not always appropriate to ask a complete stranger for a picture only on account of her skin colour. 

Of course, this doesn't stop people taking my picture when they think I'm not looking, I have my own paparazzi at times. If I notice the camera I usually duck away or make a face to make it clear that I've noticed and don't appreciate it. Having said that, I also recognize that people take photos of other people and it's made me conscious of how exploitative that process can be. There are definitely moments when I see someone doing something on the street and I think what a great picture it would be. There are many moments, especially when walking through the small neighborhoods in India, that are not appropriate to whip out a camera, though that doesn't stop a lot of tourists sadly. Foreigners would squat on the ghats in Varanasi with their SLR cameras, waiting for the perfect shot of someone bathing in the Ganges river. In the flower market in Kolkata, I watched a group of elderly white women squabbling over the opportunity to take a close up shot of the Indian woman sitting in her market stall.

I find myself balancing my annoyance with the taxi drivers who think they can quadruple charge me with my discomfort when a young girl tells me that she wishes her skin colour was like mine. Skin colour can be a hard topic to talk about but I've been extremely aware of it on this trip. It's been an interesting way for me to think about and acknowledge my privilege, especially the privilege I bear simply because of my appearance, forget where I was born.

For other white people reading this post who have travelled through Asia, being asked for photos is not a new phenomenon and as I continued to travel, I had more and more conversations with other foreigners about being asked for pictures. While I sympathized with their annoyance at constantly being stopped and photographed, I realized that I wasn’t annoyed with people taking photos of me. I was deeply uncomfortable about it. My response was typically to just smile and shake my head, no. It continued to bother me; was there something I could say to start a conversation or make people understand why I was saying no? I wasn’t annoyed and I wasn’t being a jerk. I wanted to be able to engage these photo takers in a deeper conversation about race and skin colour, but unsure of where to start.

All of these encounters indicated to me part of the remaining impact of British colonialism in India as well as the ongoing hierarchical perception of different shades of skin. While I learned a lot from my time in India, and am continuing to unpack my experiences there, one of my greatest takeaways has been what it means to be white foreigner. For all efforts to immerse myself, my perspective will always been from the top down.

Skeptical about visiting India?

Backdate to December 20th, 2016:

We arrived back in Kolkata today after two and a half weeks of backpacking. We had an awesome time experiencing different parts of this incredibly diverse country. We were lucky to get to visit Delhi, Agra, Jodhpur, Jaipur, Jaisalmer, and Mumbai. Upon landing back in Kolkata, I came to realize how small it looks compared to when we first landed. It's funny how differently you see a place once you've conquered it and the fear has washed away. In the same way that when you graduate from high school and look back at the building and it seems much smaller than the day that you first walked in.

When we first arrived in India (in the middle of the night not knowing what we were doing), I was filled with anxiety. Fear of the unknown, confusion over all the stereotypes I'd heard of, and honestly scared of getting robbed or worse...and this fear had only been made worse by the surprising amount of friends that have told me they have absolutely no desire to ever travel to India whatsoever (reasons including rape culture, uncleanliness, difficulty traveling, pickpocketing...the list goes on).

India may be known to some for stark income inequalities, male dominated attitudes, and for it's dirtiness. And those perceptions may be true in some communities and areas. But there is so, so, so much more to India. Having been here for four months now, I can confidently say that India is a beautiful country worth visiting to understand that it is so much more than what is portrayed in the media.

I feel the people I've encountered that won't give India a chance are too quick to judge. How can you base your attitude about an entire country and it's inhabitants on what the Western media portrays? For me, it was really important to see what India was like with my own two eyes - to be able to decide for myself.

I think a lot of us Westerners don't realize that people in India recognize the importance of education, awareness, and change. They have come a long way since Independence. But don't forget - it still was not that long ago since the British physical presence ended in 1947. And the repercussions of their rule are still extremely noticeable. Nonetheless, awareness of many issues is on the rise - from human rights, environmentalism, and gender equality, to corruption and fraud. India is striving to advance itself and be the best it can be. Attitudes are changing, difficult conversations are happening, and people are certainly passionate about continuing to work towards a country they are proud of. And the younger generations, including the many friends I made, are fiery with that passion. 

I'm happy to say that it's been a once in a lifetime experience. And India is a country I recommend to anyone seeking a new perspective on what it is like being a human and living on this Earth. The adversity, rich culture, amazing food and incredible people you meet will alter you in ways you can't imagine.

I hope those of you out there who are skeptical give it a chance. With an open mind and heart you might be surprised at the treasures you find. It's not a perfect country, but I have yet to visit one of those. So, take a chance. Be safe as always. And let your perspective on life be changed. 

More on Hospitality

The hospitality that we have received over the last 4 months has truly blown us away. We just cannot get over it! 

One morning we went for a walking tour and briefly met a lovely lady who currently lives in Kolkata with her elderly parents. The next thing we knew we were sipping wine at their apartment, enjoying the Diwali fireworks display at their complex, and driving across the city to eat delicious food. 

In our eagerness to be able to communicate better with the women at work, we sought out a way to learn some Bengali. We ended up taking lessons with our co-worker's ma. Twice a week we would arrive at her home after work and be welcomed with tea and some kind of Bengali snack (different each day) and a new story about Bengali culture. After our last lesson, we had a small cooking lesson and a homemade feast!

Here are some more pictures that capture our favourite moments (and people!):

We've learned to really appreciate the value of connections and how important it is to pursue new relationships. You never know who you'll meet or how much they'll impact you.  
Thank you to all of these people who made our experiences in Kolkata absolutely priceless.

Speaking of Identity

Over the past few months, I've thought about my identity more than ever before. My experiences here have reshaped my sense of self as an individual as well as a global citizen, not only on a personal level but as a professional individual - a student that is about to graduate and pursue a career in global health. For me, growing up with the influence of several different cultures and a family that emphasizes travel, my personal identity has always been intertwined with my identity as a global, multicultural citizen. Specifically, through my time in India, I have realized that my identity is a little complicated and can be really difficult to explain to people. Using this example, I have been able to better understand people’s outlooks and thought processes in understanding multiculturalism.

What has stood out the most when explaining my identity is that people have an incessant urge to categorize each other. And it is really hard for people (often those who haven’t had the opportunity to travel much and who come from very homogeneous societies) to understand that the world is changing and people are often no longer solely identifiable by one ethnicity or race but by a mosaic of backgrounds.

I look Indian, I talk like a Canadian, I’ve spent years growing up in Africa…what does that mean? How could I possibly be expected to sum up who I am by using only one of those options? In my eyes, I’m like a puzzle and all the pieces come from different places. Growing up in Canada has perhaps made me take it for granted that people will accept this complexity without a question. In India, this concept is certainly harder to relay. When asked if I’m Indian, contentment fills the persons’ face when I say that I am but disappointment soon follows when I can’t speak much Hindi or Bengali and have little more Indian about me to offer. In a way, I feel like I’m disconnected from my true heritage (a sentiment I’ve never felt so strongly before). 

At one point during our trip in Kerala, we were on a tour of a rural village located in the backwaters of Alleppey. We were being led by a local Indian villager and spent the tour mingling with a group of non-coloured tourists from England, Germany, Spain, and Israel. It was an odd experience because I truly felt divided between two worlds. I felt as though I understood the customs, habits, hospitality, and food we were exposed to by the locals and wasn’t weirded out by any of it. But I also understood the confused looks the other foreigners were giving each other at times and why the experience was slightly odd to them. It was strange being the only one straddling both cultures in that moment and having to overcome the surprise I felt at being the only one that felt so torn. 

All in all, the lessons that came out of these sorts of experiences in India have made me realize that although in so many ways people around the world are mixing cultures, being influenced by different ways of life, and identifying as more than one thing – in other ways many are still very untouched by this concept and compartmentalization/categorization is still very common and necessary in forming understandings of each other. I never realized how much we take multiculturalism for granted in Canadian culture. I am grateful to say that this experience jolted a new understanding, on a global level, that we have a long way to go when it comes to learning how to openly define each other in order to peacefully work together for a brighter, globally unified future.